he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize