I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
