i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
