Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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