i can't believe i had my finger in that
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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