GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
