I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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