But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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