Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
