Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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