The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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