i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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