DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
