why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
