so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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