It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
420 ftw
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
