just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
