Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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