After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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