Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"