I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus