At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
