I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
