Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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