It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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