i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
