I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Randomize
