another moral hangover. fuck.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
