If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
