I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it because I queefed?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
