You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
