That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
