I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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