i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
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thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
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you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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