could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
