He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize