I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
