I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm at about main and main street
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
