No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
