i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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