Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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