I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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