im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
