Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
