She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
