Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
