I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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