There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
