For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
