are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
