all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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