you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?