That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead