i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
