Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!