The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
