Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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