she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
