forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize