I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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