all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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