the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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