ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
