Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize