his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize