4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
